The dull throbbing sensations. The red inflamed skin. Writing with a pencil sure is painful.

The hexagonal shape constantly digs into the skin on the side of your fingers with a burning passion and leaving learning marks. Those marks can last for life. Some products attempt to alleviate the situation. Pencil grips are good but constantly slip and slide all over the place. Plus, one drop in the garbage will ruin the grip and make it filthy!

Pens do not fare better in this regard and are just as unwieldy.

This has led me to believe that a product is not going to be the solution to this problem. In fact the problem is our language- or more specifically, the alphabet. Certain letters are just redundant. Take the letters G and J. So much time is wasted over thinking if a word begins with a “g” or a “j”. Wouldn’t it be simpler to just have one choice? That’s why I think we should get rid of the letter J. G is much more fun to draw. In fact, I spend my free time just drawing the letter “g” over and over again when I am alone. Sometimes I don’t even do my homework because I am having so much fun. I’m on my 5,000th one! Imagine a future where “just” is now “gust”- and that is the correct way of spelling it.

I also have a bone to pick with the letter “Q”.  A Q is just the same as a C except a C is just a Q with the tail part cut in half.

Imagine having the freedom to do away with the extra work of drawing another half of the letter C with the tail of a Q and the circle part of an O. I hate that letter.  It’s like Frankenstein monster- a mishmash of all the best letters parts.   From now on, words should be spelled like this Quiet —> Cuiet. Cuite the revelation!

You might tell me to stop gripping the pencil so hard, but like I said earlier that would only be a temperamental solution to a problem that plagues the English language.